When I was 4, I was introduced to erotic play by an older cousin who had me lay in various ways with her younger sisters. I didn't understand it, but I liked it. I remember other awakenings about liking girls at 4, and my parents were liberal-minded about it, but I never got a real understanding of what it was all about from them. I got that at age 12 in a 7th grade sex education class - and it was just before that when I started having my first ejaculations in wet dreams. I had tons of experience with erotic play from 4 to 12, but suddenly things were more complicated. When I approached a cousin who had been an erotic playmate to try real sex (me 12, she 11), she was uncomfortable with it and my empathic response to her feelings just made it hard to approach girls for sex like I had learned to do for erotic play. My first real sex experience was when I was in my 20s, though I did have some erotic play experiences from 12 to then - but those were less frequent as when I was from 4 to 12, and I learned to masturbate and did that lots. I had no real guidance from parents. Most of my information about sex came from reading Penthouse magazines.

I still have much more erotic play than real sex. It's still very easy finding erotic play partners - actually the internet makes it very easy. But my last real sex was over 7 years ago, so I've been quite lonely in that way. I love touching and cuddling - and honestly I'm able to sleep with girls I'm attracted to and behave - but I've been lonely in that way, too.

I understand more about how my mom approached raising my brother and I. She bought all the stuff about letting children find out things on there own. But she also had the inhibitions about plainly talking about things that many women had before the women's movement(s) made that more acceptable. It's really a failed paradigm. I have strengths as a potential lover - my partners have been very pleased, both in person and my online playmates. I just lack the knack of making it manifest in person more often. That's an area I think more guidance from my parents would have helped....

suga daddy

I have a secret sexual life very few know about. i like to be submissive to a woman and to be used for her pleasure and amusement.

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