The Cultural Erotic Link

The Relationship Between U & V

   What kind of relationship do you have with your body and its' essential parts? Do you have a relationship with your creative bowl and center - your vagina? Or do you ignore its existence and cut it off from the rest of you?

And what kind of relationship does your partner have with your vagina? Is it one that is disconnected, sought after only for relief and his pleasure, and ignored in the process? Or do you acknowledge your vagina each day and honor its greatness?

How close are you to your vagina, although it's “down there” and farther away from your eyes? The location of our genitals has been regionally challenging since women carry their sexual organs internally and men carry theirs externally. It's no wonder that our female organs remain hidden from plain sight and mostly disregarded by society and ourselves while women continue to dissociate themselves from their vagina. If we are to heal our sexuality, we need to begin with the relationship we have with the vagina and other body parts.

It is a socially accepted fact that most heterosexual women have never looked closely at another woman's genital area. And of the women who have looked at their own, they make sure the doors are locked and no one is home. This demonstrates the feeling of sexual isolation or disconnection between a woman and her body. Words like, “my thing”, “down there”, “coochie”, “pussy”, are used to describe the world that exists between our legs. In discovering hundreds of names that people have invented to refer to a woman's genital, I am amazed at the common association with foods and animals or as something that serves a man's genital, like “cock warmer”, “bone polisher” or “dick mitten”. Furthermore, cultural, history, and ritual conditioning have led women to associate their vaginas with pain -(first intercourse and childbirth), with vulnerability to male domination – (rape, violence), with "uncleanliness"- (menstruation), and with women's essential inferiority to the phallus-bearing male - (Freudian psychology).

As Goddesses, we must honor our vagina. It is like the moon (receptive) and symbolizes the subconscious realm of femininity. It is changeable, moist, seductive and awesomely, magnetically attractive. Everything about the vagina appears to be secretive, dubious, and bewitching. Penetrating this passageway creates new life and unless one has ventured into these realms, one does not belong to the initiated. Females carry a variety of energies in this secret chamber ranging from the internalization of anger, resentment and mistrust to joy, peace and bliss to traces of many lives that existed there before.

Whenever we consume food or alcohol, the essence from what we eat and drink travels down to that alluring center of creation. It is like a magnet that draws to it, a receptacle that holds in. It is our power center and thus it contains light and electric currents that attract. Whenever I eat something like chocolate (which contains approximately 380 known chemicals, saturated fat and sugar) or any food that is clearly not compatible with my body it is only shortly after that it begins to invade my pelvic region. It is a discomforting feeling and I am reminded that I am not "loving" myself. My pelvic region is the first place that speaks loud through the sensations and movements. This accumulation of foreign, toxic energy builds up over time blocking our creativity and wellness, while manifesting diseases like fibroid tumors, uterine and cervical cancer, irregular periods, and hormonal imbalance. Yet, how many women hear the calls from the V area?

My relationship with my vagina began at an early age. I would explore it and use the mirror to look at it. At that time my genitals looked rather unattractive, like a wrinkled face with a small nose and no eyes. When hair began to grow around the outer lips of my vagina, my girlfriend and I would explore each other's secret area to see who was growing the most hair. The sensations and the calls from that area would certainly overpower the look. We were less than teenagers and this curiosity was not arrested nor tainted with the dos and don'ts or taboos of the western world. We were living in Africa. I discovered gray hair in my V area at an early age and was told that it signified the wisdom of my vagina. (That's how I responded the first time – with laughter.) Since redeveloping a deeper relationship with my vagina, I've come face to face with other facets of my own power. I feel a closer connection with myself, a sort of body- mind fusion. Upon awakening, I try to remember to send it love and greet and praise the kingdom that holds the secret to life. I try to affirm the unchartered waters of life the V carries and the areas I have yet to explore. In humble prayers, I ask that it shares the secrets it carries and to guide me with its unparallel wisdom. My vagina and I have a rapport.

The power of touch can heal our sexual pains and imbalances. Massage is an effective way of establishing deep communication with vagina and you. Massaging the V area as well as the abdominal region helps the circulation of blood, freeing the body of toxic elements. It is an important aid in channeling sexual energy. When you massage yourself you become more and more familiar with your body and its needs. The energetic vibrations from your own hands are most appreciated by your body. And clears the communication lines between within you so you are able to hear the unlimited wisdom your body carries. I recommend reading Essential Reiki by Diane Stein.

Try this simple exercise: allow your tongue to rest at the bottom of your mouth with the tip resting behind the lower teeth and away from the roof of the mouth. Consciously allow your jaw muscles to let go. Let your lips soften, parting slightly. Let your eyebrows unfold. Breathe in and out of your nostrils allowing the breathe to move down into your chest area and then into your abdominal region. Exhale tracing the breathe back up and out of your nostril. Let your facial muscles melt. Can you feel the shift? The shift you experience also takes place in your abdominal and pelvic area. Let it go! It's okay! Let go! Those who habitually hold back their emotions usual bite and gritt their teeth- (even as they sleep). The tension in that area reaches down into the pelvic region. This pattern is usually traced back to a dramatic experience of fear. Tension and the lack of true expression carry over from childhood. This holding back takes place in the throat, vaginal and heart area – (chakras). The acquired belief is that there should be no sexual expression or outlet; that it is a necessary evil in a marital relationship or an act of mundane mechanics. Most are unable to understand the far-reaching benefits of surrendering to the sexual flow and the healthy changes the body undergoes.

As a Yoga teacher, body worker and energy therapist, I come across many women who have sexual blockages. Their bodies speak out loudly through my hands as I work them. I feel the excess heat built up in their second chakra area that pronounces an accumulation of negative chi. In the spinal column, the sacrum is sore, in the thoracic area T9 through T12 and in the lumbar are L1 through L5 tightness and rigidity are palpable. These areas on the spinal column correspond to the sexual organs, uterus and ovaries. The spinal cord's nerve branch out through openings between the vertebrae and connects to the internal organs, muscles, joints, ligaments, tendons and other body parts. The vertebral subluxation - an often painless spinal distortion, can irritate or damage spinal nerves, thus interfering with your brain-body connection and your overall well-being. Having regular chiropractic spinal adjustments is the key, I always tell my students.

You enter the restroom of a public place only to be offended by the horrible odors that reek the facility. The love tunnels of women are harboring energies and emotions detrimental to their health and wellbeing. It's a strong message the many women often don't seem to understand. A unhealthy vagina or foul smelling one is an indication of something serious going on around the health of a woman. From perfumed and artificial sanitary pads & tampons to restricting underwea and tight jeans to unsafe douches. And how often does a vagina get to see and feel the sun and get to breathe fresh air? Mine smiles when the rays of the sun strokes it.

I always hear women say to themselves, “I am so stupid”, “I don't know anything” or “I hate myself.” When you do this you dishonor, minimize your power and abuse yourself. This does not constitute a healthy relationship with self. Imagine when it comes to the vagina, just how many women are rejecting and desecrating their bodies. This no doubt draws the same vibration of abusive relationships that correspond and reveal the relationship they have with themselves. So who's to blame that your relationships are failing when you don't have a loving one with yourself? Having loving, caring and prosperous intimate relationships with others require it begins within.

Consider today, the first day of the rest of your life. You have the opportunity to begin a new and loving relationship with your body and yourself. So let's begin with the area in which you made your passage into the world.... the VAGINA!. Love it! Cherish it! Empower it! And by all means take care of your sacred space! 

EROS: The Astrology of Our Erotic Nature!

EROS –How We Express Our Physical Love & Sexual Desires! 

 

Eros brings beauty, meaning and divinity into our lives. It comes to us through a very particular epiphany, a passionate inspiration present in a particular lover, teacher, melody, or landscape. We long to follow it always. But this is not the whole story. For Eros also brings us obsessions, cruelty, abandonment, and betrayal. It may come through anguish."--Harriet Eisman

Eros is the god of erotic love. Knowledge of its position by sign can give you insight into how you individually express your erotic and romantic impulses, and the type of sexual and romantic chemistry that is generated between you and another.

In accessing our sexuality through astrology, it must be noted that we are complex sexual beings. And in astrology I would take into consideration the entire chart of an individual. Although a major element of our sexuality can be defined by Mars- the planet of raw energy and our sex drive, its placement and relationship to other planets. Venus is an important companion to Mars as their polarities make for a nice smooth blend within us. Mar is aggressive while Venus relates to the soft elements of romance, pleasure and love. Other factors are our intelligence, social conditioning and societal influence.

Mars. The sign of Mars shows us the style in which we express our sexual nature.

Venus. The sign of Venus shows us some of the important "trappings" and foreplay that helps us get in the mood for sex.

Moon. The sign of our Moon shows us some of our underlying emotional needs  that may express themselves as sexual fantasies and needs.

Eros. The sign position of the Asteroid, Eros, can reveal some of our erotic turn-ons, as well as the level of our erotic nature.

Eros' forms are many and sometimes terrible, and in full strength he comes to us winged and gleaming and muscled like an athlete, with a fury and will that overpower our own and drive us before him as would a storm. --Peter Marin

Eros in Aries

Eros in Aries says, "Play with me, right here and right now!" In this sign, Eros wants action, competition, confrontation and of course, he wants to win! Eros in Aries can make a game of love complete with points to score and visiting teams to defeat! The more impossible the relationship, the more ardent he becomes.

As the first of the FIRE signs, he spends and consumes tremendous amounts of energy in the pursuit and capture of his quarry. All this fiery rabidity makes Eros in Aries a very active and perpetually busy lover. Eros here, whether in the chart of a male or female, can exhibit traditional romantic behavior not unlike a knight of old. He is robust, gallant and ever dashing off to slay dragons or rescue damsels, or helpless men, in distress.

Eros in Taurus

This way, my love, this way, come here and haste to rest the whole night in my arms. I worship your lovely curly hair; I am consumed with ardent desire. Oh! Eros, in thy mercy, compel him to my bed. --Aristophanes

Eros in Taurus says "Hold me, touch me, kiss me, take me." Here Eros has little interest in the aggressive ardency of Aries. Taurus is not responsive to getting up at

This pleasure-seeking eye of the bull is ever on the niceties of sensuality whether they be in the dinning room, on the massage table or in a king size bed. He finds joy in tangible pursuits that revolve around making the body feel good as well as the pleasure of acquisition. Taurus can also become ferociously possessive of those pleasures in an extremely dogmatic way.

Eros in Gemini

…and the most beautiful words ever spoken, I have not yet said to you. --Nazim Hikmet

Eros in Gemini says, "If you want me, talk to me!" Here Eros thrives on the interaction of ideas, and the intellectual stimulation found in sharing observations, data and little understood facts. He likes it known how well he comprehends a subject and how much he could teach about it. Eros in Gemini wants to hear the words, or receive little cards with messages of love, much more than he wants to get a box of chocolates or even a massage!

Gemini governs the realm of the mind, the known universe, its facts and fancies. When Eros dresses in this outfit, he seeks intimacy first through intellectual rapport and that usually means talking. The mere act of communication can stimulate this position of Eros into desires for deeper intimacy and union, provided one listens to the discourse. The beloved’s inattention to detail or loss of concentration on the subject kills a genuine pursuit faster here than in any other sign.

Curiosity about how things work, why people behave in a certain way, or where some tradition began all contribute to the stimulating mental atmosphere where Eros in Gemini likes to live. He uses knowledge as a lure, his mind as bait and his wit as reward. He also uses these intellectual instruments as a bastion against the pain and suffering of the emotional world.

The first of the AIR signs, Eros in Gemini has a sense of mental objectivity and a distinct need for space. Although drawn irrefutably to the depths of intimacy by the nature of Eros itself, in this sign he may at times do more talking or reading about emotional closeness than going out and experiencing it.

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Eros in Cancer

A mean young man meets a witch, who says she will be his lover forever if he brings her the heart of his mother. He runs home, kills his mother and cuts out her heart. As he is running back through the forest, he trips and falls, dropping the heart. In a concerned tone, the heart says to him, "Son, did you hurt yourself?" --Old Jewish Parable

Eros in Cancer says, "share your joy and pain with me". In this sign, Eros experiences a certain measure of affinity and ease. Here the boundaries can dissolve into a space of intimate rapport where the feelings, emotions, fears, pains and sorrows of two people merge and mingle into one. In cancer, Eros does not hesitate at the threshold of erotic intimacy. Once inside, he simply never wants to leave.

Eros in Cancer longs to be wanted and he craves the significant other’s attention and deep need for attachment. Nurturing, sustaining and mothering all arise with this archetype creating a potent link that can enhance life as well as strangle it to death. It is the image of the umbilical cord that offers succor but may also become toxic if it is not severed at the necessary time.

Eros in Leo

Call me a she-lion, then, if you like and Scylla, dweller on the Tuscan cliff. For I have touched your heart in the vital spot. --Euripides

Eros in Leo says, "watch me, follow me, worship me". The operant word in this phrase is me. Eros in Leo is similar to his fiery counterpart Aries in the desire for action although here Leo’s need diverges in its tremendous longing for attention and adoration. Where Aries likes a playmate and wants, of course, to be first, Leo needs the devotional attention and unfailing love of those who touch his life. Unfortunately, this is often just what he feels is missing.

Eros in this position has a strong desire to feel special, unique and distinctive. The second of the FIRE signs, Eros in Leo requires energy and returns it in playful abundance as well. He dazzles in the spot-light of admiration and gives priority to the creative, artistic side of life.

Eros in Virgo

..how can I find a path towards my soul's real nature that begins right here where I am shipwrecked, rather than in pious hopes for a perfect life? --Harriet Eisman

Eros in Virgo says, "hold me, touch me, buy me things, and explain to me why you are doing it." This second of the EARTH signs has all the tangible desires of Taurus with the added propensity to analyze intentions and rate them on a scale of one to ten. These discriminating qualities of Virgo can come to the fore with a check list approach to romantic love.

Virgo has tremendous perceptions and is not a sign to hesitate using them on the beloved. Sometimes this can equate with judgments and criticism, real wet blankets for erotic experiences. This perceptiveness can also turn inward were it manifests as a self-criticism, an equally damaging trait. An inclination to carry out a running commentary on the attributes and failings of any given moment may mingle with passion like oil and water.

Eros in Virgo does have a very lusty and luscious desire nature that shares an affinity with epithemia. The material elements of life appraise high on the scale of importance and that means physical contact, physical nurturing and physical pleasure. They can abide a great deal of touching, tasting and sensing too. Eros here is not afraid to get close and stay close, if the special other turns out to be good enough.

Eros in Libra

Eros, god of love, distilling liquid desire down upon the eyes, bringing sweet pleasure to the souls of those against whom you make war, never to me may you show yourself to my hurt nor ever come but in due measure and harmony.----Euripides

Eros in Libra says, "share the elegant beauty of life with me!" This Eros wants above all to participate with a significant other in many splendid activities. Libra is the sign of personal one-to-one relationships and Eros here has all the longings for the excellence and refinement that exemplify Libra. In this position, life needs to unfold pleasantly and in the company of a beloved other.

Being the second of the AIR signs, Eros in Libra has the ability to objectify life, and enjoys the communication of ideas. Talking , interpreting, counseling and the giving and receiving of feedback all rate high on the list of Libra’s good times. This is a refined position for Eros, a sign that inherently honors the social niceties of the times and enjoys the sophistication of good manners and pleasant exchange. Unless, of course, they are flipping into their antagonistic side. Then, from Libra erupts the disputing debater or Devil’s advocate par excellent!

Eros in Scorpio

Come to me, and I shall be the sun round which you are locked in orbit,
and my rays shall lay bare the secrets you keep from each other, and I,
who possess charms and powers of which you have no inkling, shall
control and possess and destroy you!" -- Anne Rice The Vampire Arman

Eros in Scorpio says, "merge with me in the searing furnace of the souls so that together we may be transformed." Eros in Scorpio speaks bluntly. His desires are potent, ardent and fixed and often involve a great deal of intense intimacy that can make the light-hearted falter. Eros in this sign is interested in a very personal and erotic form of relating that has no qualms about ripping off the surface scab of social superficiality to expose the true nature of ones soul beneath. They generally do not hold back.

Eros here seeks, often through intense and possibly taboo sexual experiences, the gift of merging, union and transformation. This is the break on through to the other side that Jim Morrison echoed. He invites you to the threshold and if you enter, there is no turning back. You will transform or perish, or both.

Eros here may be in the sign of his greatest affinity. The second WATER sign, Scorpio relates well to the powerful hungers exhibited by Eros and there is little to modify or temper. Scorpio is not afraid to get too close. He does not shun intimacy, physical or otherwise. He is not nervous about bodily functions, losing his freedom, sharing his emotions or surrendering his mind. He just plain is not nervous or afraid of much, except maybe losing control.

Eros in Sagittarius

Imagine, if you can, silver leaves waving above a pool of gold filled with singing fishes. Twin moons in an alien sky. If you like, I'll show them to you and they will be, I promise you, the dullest part of the journey. Come with me and I will show you sights that you have never dreamed of. Or stay behind, and regret it until your dying day...--William Hartnell as Doctor Who

Eros in Sagittarius says, "expand my horizons and explore the unknown with me!" This placement of Eros needs widespread goals for the future and the space, energy and enthusiasm to live them out. Spontaneous, exuberant, adventurous and fickle, Eros here prefers a lively and challenging experience with the beloved, one that will take him to the limitless corners of the universe. If someone is going to be with Eros in Sagittarius, they best get ready to soar.

This third FIRE sign has enormous sexual energy and will become bored if the relationship does not develop into broader and richer potentials, or offer new horizons. Travel is his watchword and that does not necessarily mean physically jumping on a plane and heading for a distant culture. The travel Sagittarius has in mind involves the exploration of any previously unknown realm. This includes symbolic journeys through intellectual concepts, philosophical ideas, spiritual beliefs and artistic creations.

Eros in Capricorn

Do you see how unclothed Love smiles and looks so gentle? He has no torches, nor bows which he could bend. But in one of his hands he bears flowers, in the other a fish. That's to say he sets the law on land and sea. --Alciato

Eros in Capricorn says, "touch me, buy me things, and balance the books if you think you are qualified". This position of Eros has powerful concepts about what is good and what is good enough. There is a need for competence and capability that the earthy sign of Taurus would never consider important. Eros in Capricorn is looking for a type of tangible perfection in the other or failing that, a certificate of completion at least.

Capricorn may sublimate its earthy and very ardent desires for sensual contact and intimacy through the ever-present demands of work. Productivity, attainment, and a feeling of self-sufficiency are vital qualities for Capricorn and they like to see them in the partner as well as themselves.

The third of the EARTH signs, Eros in Capricorn has a powerful need to connect in a physical sense and may also have equally powerful reservations, fears and objections to intimacy. Caution is the watchword. This sign is acknowledged as one of the most difficult to get to know. They do not open up easily and they may not stay open long.

The paradox is that Capricorn is extremely sensual and sexual in a very earthy, potent, Pan-like way. Its symbol is half goat after all and the implication of fertility and sexuality imbibe the image. They have all the desires of Taurus lounging side by side with their deep well of fear.

Eros in Aquarius

…I have never seen nor heard your name without a shiver half of delight, half of anxiety --Edgar Allan Poe

Eros in Aquarius says, "surprise me, shock me, amazement me!" This position of Eros carries a high voltage charge with stimulating encounters that need a lot of air space to conduct electromagnetic charms. Eros in Aquarius desires the weird, the wonderful and the unusual. He thrives on the unexpected and luxuriates in situations that make the more traditional signs squirm with embarrassment.

Eros in the sign of the Water Bearer has a disposition bordering on the bizarre. He crosses boundaries as if they did not exist and skips the lines of gender and protocol like a child playing hop-scotch. If it is unusual and invigorating, he is probably interested.

The third of the AIR signs, Eros in Aquarius gets bored with routine and needs intriguing conversation and somewhat unconventional themes to keep his interest aroused. He also needs a lot of freedom.

Eros in Pisces

Held fast in a faience of sea changes
While waves queue offshore in glittering strings;
Till love’s continuum rearranges,
The persevering sea harbors all things.--E.F. Mosher

Eros in Pisces says, "merge into the depths with me"! Here Eros wants to lose all sense of where his being ends and another begins. Eros in Pisces desires a return to paradise, a drink from the Holy Grail and union with the divine. He is willing to give up his own identity, allowing it to melt and merge with the beloved until they are no longer distinct but part of a greater whole. This is the state of the mystic and the universe of the quantum physicist. It is the persistent longing of Pisces and the dreaded fear of almost every other sign. Eros here could be in its exaltation, the affinity is that great.

This position of Eros, the third of the WATER signs, represents the dissolving of the self into the other and all the pain, longing, suffering and ecstasy that process may involve. It also embraces the mysterious sense of the ineffable, something seldom glimpsed for long in any relationship. It suggests the beauty and creativity seen only through the lives of lovers who have touched each other’s spirits. It is indeed a big call for the average relationship to achieve.

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Please note that the house placement of your eros is vital. To find out your house placement and eros compatibility with your partner or potential love, send your request to: thesexualgriot@gmail.com

Herbs for Women's Sexual Healing

Dong Quai is an estrogen-balancing herb for women. Estrogenic herbs and foods have the same effect on a woman's body as her own hormones do, but without negative side effects of synthetic estrogen. More than half the women who take prescription estrogens experience bloating, headaches, excessive bleeding, cellulite skin and other unwanted side effects. Herbs with estrogenic properties are the perfect answer.

Licorice Root is another herb with plant estrogen activity. It helps reduce fluid retention, breast tenderness, abdominal bloating, mood swings, and depression. Licorice strengthens adrenal glands to boost energy levels and minimize the effects of stress.

Black Cohosh combats the effects of fluctuating hormones. An antispasmodic, it relieves menstrual cramps, menopausal hot flashes and uterine contractions.

Chaste Tree Berry has a normalizing effect on the sex drive. It stimulates production of the hormone progesterone and balances estrogen dominance. Chaste tree berry helps overcome depression associated with the menstrual cycle, headaches, premenstrual acne, breast tenderness, cramps and bloating.

False Unicorn is a uterine tonic that relieves congestion. It has been traditionally included in aphrodisiac formulas for women. Siberian Ginseng is a tonic herb that restores body balance, both physically and biochemically. It also influences the hypothalamus to modulate hormone release.

Panax Ginseng has estrogen like effects on the female reproductive tissues and prevents vaginal atrophy. It is especially good over the long term; because it helps the body secrete moisture.

Ashwagandhais is an Ayurvedic herb with ginseng like activity. Often called a woman's ginseng, ashwagandha is a gentle energizer -- not as intensely heating as Panax ginseng.

Do Sexual Myths Impede Our Health, Pleasure & Intimacy?

“And yet a woman who has not had an orgasm develops the temperament of an ungrateful snake, she strikes out irritably at every little thing; she is an unpleasant, unpredictable, unrewarding companion in any pursuit.”

The sexual myths that have been passed down from generation to generation have played a leading role in the rise of internal pain, suffering, health challenges, conflict between the genders, hostility and the suppression and fragmentation of our real power. We are unquestionably a sexually immature and a sensually underdeveloped society. Sex is a sacred act and ancient philosophy that humans living in modern day society are very confused about.

As children, we are fed with information and images that paint the “art of love making” with colors that are dark, dull and shadowy; like a secret forbidden society that dwells behind locked doors with the keys thrown away. Ironically, it is that part of our being that we most fear, and so we most fear are authentic power.

Sexuality is very much a part of who we are, how we present ourselves in the world, what we do, and how we think of ourselves. Our adequacy and our self-esteem are tied up in our sexuality.  Once we connect with and understand that powerful transforming energy it frees the earthiness and wildness within each of us. When this clandestine world is uncovered it transcends the mind, liberates the soul, heals our bodies, and sends the spirit dancing ecstatically on the moon.

Tantra is an Eastern path of personal development based on a system of yoga in which there is a union of the male and female principles.  Tantra is an eastern terminology conveying the knowledge that a powerful current of energy flows through us all, which needs to be harmonized. The teachings of tantra have been used for thousands of years as a tool to enhance the boundaries of consciousness. Tantra involves embracing all aspects of who we are beyond the physical or visible world. Our sexuality is a major component of our wholeness and to suppress, damage or deny it contributes to a condemnation of our very own existence. 

To focus on one area of our humanness and reject the sensual celebration of our physical, emotional and spiritual selves disconnect us from the Divine, Supreme Being. A common example is revealed in the physical discomfort we experience through tight shoulders, stiff necks, headaches, chest constrictions and backaches. These are clear indications of the uneven distribution in our energy system. We cut off, starve and neglect the lower part of our body and our energies are stuck in the upper region and in our minds.  The lower body is where our creative juices lie and we have no access to them. We create an unhealthy environment, develop diseases and then try to bring life (our children) through that debilitated forsaken space we call our womb.  The womb needs healing too!

In the goddess-oriented religions that existed before the spread of patriarchal faiths like Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, sexuality was embraced as a sacred act. In the pre-christian cultures of Babylon and Egypt, sexual ceremonial magic was an integral part of religious practices. The shift in moral and social values that accompanied the spread of colonial Christianity was dramatic.  Sex was not only de-sanctified it was thoroughly condemned and the remains of that stale consciousness still exists today as a means of controlling the masses.

“We have to be careful that in throwing out the devil, we don’t throw out the best part of ourselves”

 

As Goddesses, we must honor our vagina. It is like the moon (receptive) and symbolizes the subconscious realm of femininity. It is changeable, moist, seductive and awesomely, magnetically attractive.  Everything about the vagina appears to be secretive, dubious, and bewitching. Penetrating this passageway creates new life and unless one has ventured into these realms, one does not belong to the initiated.  Females carry a variety of energies in this secret chamber ranging from the internalization of anger, resentment and mistrust to joy, peace and bliss.  Whenever we consume food or alcohol, the essence from that in which we eat and drink travels down to that alluring center of creation. It is like a magnet that draws to it, a receptacle that holds in. It is our power center and thus it contains light and electric currents that attract. Whenever I eat something like chocolate (which contains approximately 380 known chemicals, saturated fat and sugar) or any food that is clearly not compatible with my body it is only shortly after that it begins to invade my pelvic region. It is a discomforting feeling and I am reminded that I am not “loving” myself. My pelvic region is the first place that speaks loud through the sensations and movements.  This accumulation of foreign, toxic energy builds up over time blocking our creativity and wellness, while manifesting diseases like fibroid tumors, uterine cancer, irregular periods, and hormonal imbalance.

“I love being female, I love being with a man. If I ground my sexual energy, I am here and now, otherwise I’m just roaming. Grounded sexual energy brings peace and nourisment to the soul"

Men, no doubt must pay tribute to their penis in a consecrated way. The penis compares to a great procreative tower guided by two coiled up serpents in a boil symbolizing the active and flaming characters of the sun (active).  The penis illustrates the outward masculine energies that seek to merge harmoniously with its natural companion in creating new life and transforming energies. This new life is not limited to a child, for creation takes place in many ways and on many levels. And those who recognize this deep sexual, mysterious world within can be identified by the free flowing energies and the radiance of subtle light that emanates from their body. They glow and stand out through the flexibility in their hips, their apparent groundedness in the earth plane, the softness of their jaws and lips, the gentleness of their touch, the lightness in their heart and the ability to maintain a sense of humor.

Only the ignorant are overly serious and identify with unbending thoughts and beliefs that are not originally theirs but were planted by their elders creating bad soil and unhealthy pastures. Look at those who clinch their jaws and turn their eyebrows inward – they are angry and the constrictions run down their bodies and into their power, sexual center. Try this simple exercise: allow your tongue to rest at the bottom of your mouth and away from the roof of the mouth. Consciously allow your jaw muscles to let go. Let your lips soften, parting slightly. Breathe in and out of your nostrils. Let your facial muscles melt. Can you feel the shift? The shift that you experience also takes place in your sexual and pelvic muscles. Let it go! Those who habitually hold on to their emotions have learned to paint their world with dark and saddening colors. Still many continue to be held back by fear, tension and the habits of expression carried over from childhood. Somehow they believe that sex is not supposed to be enjoyed; it is a necessary evil in the marital relationship and an act of mundane mechanics. They are unable to understand the far-reaching benefits of surrendering to the sexual flow of the universe.

“G stands for Growth, Good, Glorious, Goddess. Find the G spot, and you’ve found your way home.”

As an African bodyworker and healer, I come across many women who have sexual blockages. Their bodies speak out loudly through my hands as I work them. I feel the excess heat built up in their second chakra area that pronounces an accumulation of negative chi. In the spinal column, the sacrum is sore, in the thoracic area T9 through T12 and in the lumbar are L1 through L5 tightness and rigidity are palpable. These areas on the spinal column correspond to the sexual organs, uterus and ovaries.  The spinal cord’s nerve branches out through openings between the vertebrae and connects to the internal organs, muscles, joints, ligaments, tendons and other body parts. The vertebral subluxation, an often painless spinal distortion, can irritate or damage spinal nerves, thus interfering with your brain-body connection and your overall well-being.

Anodea Judith in her book, The Wheel of Life, speaks of sexuality as a life force.  She notes that, “Television screens allow our children to watch murders and crime shows but sensors any scenes that involve lovemaking. Those who engage in life’s simple pleasures are labeled weak, lazy or self-indulgent.” The need for pleasure pushes outward (instead of inward) and people seek outlets in the form of alcohol, drugs, violence, rape, and poorly made pornography to loosen cultural inhibitions. Millions of dollars’ worth of advertising are spent to play on our sexual repression. When something natural is taken away, the resulting gap can be used as an implement for control. What’s taken away is sold back to us, piecemeal, and we are less then whole because of it.

One problem is that we live in a world where the art of sex is gauged through performance. The sacredness of sex is diminishing while the sanctification of society continues to collapse. There are natural therapeutic methods that can return us to our normal, inherent right to be the sexual gods and goddess we already are. Yoga is a powerful tool; meditation, breath work, bodywork, appropriate exercise and acupuncture can help loosen up the tight constraints and ideas we carry in our physical and mental bodies. As a yoga practitioner, I feel the stirrings of my sexual energies and the calming of my mind through my practice. The Oxford Dictionary defines Myth as: a widely held but false notion. Let us begin by realizing that in order to heal our existence we must replace some of those old ideologies so that can change can take place on a more fundamental level.

Sex can be a magical experience. It’s out of this world! Look at nature, creation is constantly taking place all around us. There is no holding back, guilt or shame by animals or plants during the mating process.  What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthly level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. We feel one way, but the mind is chattering with the search for logic. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, and compassion is the fragrance.  We do not allow the seed to grow when we are trapped at an unhealthy earthly level that is meant to create fertile grounds for the blossoming of our inherent creative powers.

“Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we learn reverence for sex.”

THE FATAL SIDE OF ATTRACTION

                                 

Attraction is an intriguing phenomenon. And when I say attraction I do not refer to the dogma of attraction, but rather the mechanics, the dynamics, the details and the dance of what happens during the complex interaction of mind, body and sometimes the spirit of two people.

You’re at a social gathering, engrossed in a conversation when suddenly you turn your head only to find your eyes locked into someone else’s gaze. A surge of energy surfaces from within you and your heart beats faster; your energy perks up and you begin to experience tingling sensations in your body. You’re sexually aroused! Characteristic? Hardly! Those moments are caused by an incredible chain of biological reactions that involves the hypothalamus, synthetic nervous system, and pituitary and adrenal glands which work together to release epinephrine – the chemical that makes you feel “turned on” as reminded by Charlotte Kasl in her book, “If The Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path”.

Underneath the drive to have a perfect career and job, to have and own your own home, to drive a fancy car, to live up to what ever it is you strive to live up to ( the superficial elements of modern day living)  is the desire to mate, to reproduce. It would make sense then that sexual arousal is the ultimate pleasurable sensation so as to ensure procreation.

It’s no wonder that “falling in love” is such a dramatic experience that many are afraid of for fear of feeling yet another complex set of intense emotions that, on the contrary, may involve pain and suffering if it all falls apart.  But it’s got to be one or the other. So which one would you rather experience? “Falling in love”; feeling the sadness and pain around not attempting love; or loosing when you try? Better to have loved than to have never ventured to love at all. It’s about feelings. About what makes you feel good inside! Living in fear of loving is certainly not a cozy space to be in.

Falling in love brings with it an intense biological process. We take a leave of absence from our neocortex- where explanation, contemplation and intellect lie – so that we can unwind in the pleasurable and delightful sensations of feelings and vulnerability. But this biological process has its shadows as we often mistake these sensations for love and start a relationship with no more intelligence then two flies.

A conscious relationship requires sexual chemistry and strong attraction for a lasting flame between two people. We simply can not diminish or ignore sexual fulfillment. Studies of long-term happy relationships consistently reveal couples that have a strong and vibrant sexuality – an unmistakable chemistry. Even if the fire has calmed over the years, you’ll discover that those happy marriages began with a strong sexual attraction. For one to say that they have a happy fulfilling relationship without heartwarming and enjoyable sex is like saying you enjoy the magic of sunsets without the sun.

Constant infatuations can take a toll on one’s well being. According to Paul Pearsall, author of Sexual Healing the biochemical response to falling in love and out of love without authenticity leads us to produce large amounts of epinephrine which creates chronic autonomic agitation or feelings of restlessness and nervousness resulting in irritability, fatigue and the breakdown of the immune system leading to chronic anxiety and depression. This experience is called love-sickness. Getting hooked on the epinephrine high, seeking the thrill can be found more commonly in teenagers and young adults who face the peer pressures and bombardment of the commercial world.

Re-evaluation and re-education around sexuality is completely necessary for making fundamental changes within our human family. To some this may seem far-fetched but it’s inevitable.  For it is the necessary piece that will make a profound impact and shift in reversing the accelerating rate of degeneration, devaluation, disease and pre-mature deaths in our world. And may I add the assaults to our ecological, oceanic, solar and global structures. Renovate sexuality locally, transform globally! 

When we create and develop a mindful, loving, and deep personal connection with another while blending sexual attraction our bodies produce the hormone oxytocin – which give feelings of intense closeness, trust and sensual feelings. Paradoxically, oxytocin is the hormone that is secreted when a mother nurses her baby. Pearsall again affirms that “it’s the neurochemical” of intimate connection that also helps balance the immune system. 

The body requires a considerable amount of time to settle into a relationship and stop creating the epinephrine high and begin to secrete oxytocin instead - which means that many people have never truly experience the bliss and depths of intense intimacy.

Our feelings, thoughts, hormones, glands, cells; our compassion, gentleness, sensuality and veracity are all strands in our delicate web playing a part in the making of our wholeness and completeness. When we fuse the wisdom and knowledge of our biochemistry with sexual and spiritual wisdom and knowledge we see that when we are in harmony with our sexuality and in harmony with our spirituality (not choosing one over the other) the dawn of bliss arrives. There is no separation. Strong attraction is the first pulse to a wonderful world of enduring love. Our bodies are always pleading with us through the many discomforts and diseases, beseeching us to love well, use our intelligence, access our wisdom and be wise in our choices especially during those fatal and luring moments of attraction!

 

Angelique Shofar © 2007-2008. All rights reserved.