From Our Readers:
THE RELATIONSHIP
QUESTION:
ANSWER:
It is when two people are starting to get feelings for one another, and want to spend more time with each other. Then they must communicate that they want more then what they have like a relationship, and then talk about the rules that the relationship will be based on, because every one does not want the same thing all the time.
ANSWER:
“ Relationship...A compelling mutual desire to share special moments with that equally special person. Qualities...passion for fulfilling the ego.”
ANSWER:
“I don't. They generally define themselves. Every form of interaction with another person over a period of time becomes a relationship. Whether one becomes short or long term is usually determined by the things we find that we have in common verses what we don't have in common. The level of communication or lack thereof. I think those factors alone will determine the outcome of the relationship.”
ANSWER:
"It must start and always have trust, caring, respect, and honesty; these are the building block of a good solid relationship."
ANSWER:
"I’m a modern woman but with traditional values if that make sense. I like a man
to be a man but also for me to have that freedom as a woman to be independent.
For me, a relationship is of the mind and body (thus in my case involving the
heart). So in a relationship it is important for me to be able to explore my
spiritual and sensual side with that significant other. That is important to
me. That deep sensual / spiritual side needs to be nurtured. But finding a
partner on that page is difficult. As to why I have been single now 4 years. I
don’t want to just be with someone for the sake of being with someone. I am
studying Tantra and it is definitely something I want to explore with another
but it would have to be a life partner, not a random encounter. There is a
level of respect for my sexual energies. And I don’t feel I want to share it
with just anyone, because to me sex is art, spirituality and my freedom, the
ultimate union of my mind, body and soul."
ANSWER:
"RELATIONSHIPS ALL ARE BASED ON CONNECTION AND SHARING. THUS,
ONE CAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FRIEND ON SOME LEVELS, A CO-WORKER ON OTHER
LEVELS. BUT THE ONE I SEEK AND LIVE FOR ARE THE RELATIONSHIP WHERE LOVE IS
INVOLVED -- SPIRITUAL LOVE, PHYSICAL LOVE, SENSUOUS LOVE, ROMANTIC LOVE, GROWTH
LOVE, THERE IS TRUST AND SHARING, CARING AND GUIDANCE. THERE IS FEEDING OF EACH
OTHER (BOTH WITH FOOD AND INTELLECT AND HUMOR) AND THERE IS THE ABILITY TO SEE
A VISION TOGETHER. WHY HAVE I BEEN BROUGHT TO THIS PERSON? WHY IS THIS
CONNECTION THERE? YOU MUST KNOW THERE ARE TIMES YOU MEET SOMEONE AND THERE IS
AN INSTANT, AND TRUE, CONNECTION. THAT FEELING CANNOT BE CREATED; IT IS REAL --
AND IT IS CRUCIAL TO ANY EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP. AND THEN, WHEN THE PHYSICAL
ENTERS THE RELATIONSHIP, I CANNOT IMAGINE NOT BEING INSIDE OF HER, HOLDING HER,
TASTING HER AND PLEASING HER.
THERE MUST BE UNDERSTANDING THAT, EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP
WHERE TWO ARE ONE -- ONE STILL IS ONE AT TIMES. THAT IS HOW WE GROW, FROM THE
NEWNESS OF THE OTHER PERSON. A WALK BY ONE SELF (OR AS IN TODAY, A LONG DRIVE BY
MYSELF) HELPS CLARIFY AND CLEAR MY THINKING AND HELPS ME APPRECIATE AND BETTER
UNDERSTAND THOSE I CARE ABOUT.
I AM READY TO DO ANYTHING FOR A PERSON IN A RELATIONSHIP AND WILL STAND BY THEM
NO MATTER WHAT. LET ANYONE TRY AND HURT THEM AND I WILL BE A LION. IT IS A
CARING AND A LOVE THAT CANNOT BE SLICED OFF AND DISCARDED.
THERE SHOULD BE TRUST AND DARING. THERE SHOULD BE HUMOR SHARED ONLY BY THE TWO
OF US. WE CAN BE FAR APART IN DIFFERENT CITIES BUT WE STILL CONNECT. WE CAN
FIND OTHERS THAT WE CONNECT WITH AT TIMES, BUT THE OVERARCHING CONNECTION
REMAINS FOR A RELATIONSHIP. IT IS BECOMING MORE OF WHO YOU ARE WITH ANOTHER
PERSON'S HAND IN YOURS.
I SO BELIEVE THAT ROMANCE (NO MATTER HOW IT IS DEFINED) IS ALSO A KEY. AND THAT
I FIND SO LACKING SO OFTEN, AND SO FRUSTRATING. I LIKE MYSELF, MY HEART AND
SOUL AND BRAIN AND BODY. I LIKE EXPRESSION AND CONFIDENCE AND SOLIDARITY WITH
THOSE I LOVE. VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. I WANT TO MAKE THE OTHER PERSON FEEL GOOD
AND ACHIEVE WHAT THEY WANT, AND I WANT THEM TO DO THE SAME FOR ME."
ANSWER:
"I have no
clear definition of a relationship. All of my relationships with women are
different. However, a must is that we treat each other as divine beings. What I
seek in a relationship is a strong friendship. Next I think I look for open
mindedness a closed mind is the devil workshop. Then I ask my self would I be
willing to die for this person because I take friendship very seriously, you
never know in a moment you might have to risk or lose your life so I do not
hang around people I won't. Because I have been very interested in the sexual
arts for many years I like for my women friends to at least be interested in
the dialogue the discussion of how to be better loving people.
Most women and
men disagree with my belief about semen in that I believe that it is not to be squandered.
If semen is the best part of a man and it takes 90 days for it to mature then
most human beings did not get a good start at birth. I was reading another
sisters blog and she said she did not know why most men get tire and sometimes
fall to sleep after they ejaculate. The man has just given up the best part of
himself and was probably not trying to impregnate the woman his body is now at
a loss (there are exceptions with conscious beings) and needs to rest to
restore. I want my woman to understand that. I believe that the sexual embrace
is a journey a traveling to another place without time where worries do not
exist. Quickies are good too but only as a teaser to what is to come. I do not
know if this has been helpful I hope so. Thank you for doing what you do. We
are all supermen and superwomen the matrix has kept us ignorant to profit off
us people like you will open portals of knowledge and wisdom that will save man
(male and female)."
ANSWER:
"
My most significant relationships (sexually intimate and familiar) tend to be with people who have my best interest at heart and/or people who have my best interest at heart. In men, I'm usually attracted to someone who makes me feel secure and is savvy, not necessarily book smart, but has a real knowledge of how to survive.
Please don't laugh, but I have a list of what I want in a man. Not a list of what he has to have, but a good intention list, a list of qualities that I would like in a man. Some of them are must haves,
but not all of them."
Must be intelligent and not mind esoteric conversations
Must be thoughtful
Must be physically fit
Must be emotionally stable
Must be affectionate
Must have faith and belief in God
Must have at least one bachelor's degree, work a high paying trade job
or own a business that nets $60000 a year
Must have a desire to learn new things
Must have a desire to travel
Must enjoy eating different cuisine
Must be well groomed
Must practice good hygiene
Must have good taste in clothes or at least be willing to let me
suggest outfits for him
Must be sexually adventurous
Must be focused and have a life plan
Must desire to have a family
Must love me and have my best interest at heart
Must be cooperative and friendly
Must appreciate my relationships and give me time for family and friends
Must have his own interests, friends and social network
Must be fun and appreciate dark and quirky humor
Must love women/no woman haters
ANSWER:
"A relationship for me has to be born out of the sincere wish
of two persons to get to know each other. For me it has to incorporate not only
physical but also emotional and spiritual elements in order to be significant.
Personally I only want to engage in significant
relationships and would describe most of the ones I had so far as such.
I never sat down with a partner and established 'arrangements' for the relationship. It is crucial though to respect the necessities and expectations of the partner and saying that I think my definition of relationship is: SOUP
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